Our daughter...,Grace

When we adopted Alona we gave her the choice of keeping or changing her Ukrainian first name and she chose to keep it.  We then asked her if it would be okay for her middle name to be Grace.  Through our translator we explained the meaning of Grace and in particular the meaning of God's grace.  I remember how she smiled shyly and said "okay".  I don't think she really knew what to make of us giving her a new name or our choice of a  name. 

Fast forward..., about 6 weeks ago she was writing her name on top of a math worksheet and she wrote Grace instead of Alona.  When I asked her about it she just said "No more Alona, just Grace".  We thought maybe this was just going to be a temporary change, but it seems she is serious about it being her forever name.  We have tried to ask why she wants to change it but for now she doesn't want to talk about it.  We have tried to figure it out..., is she shutting a door to her past or is it because the name Alona sounds foreign and she just wants to blend in.  The bottom line is she wants to be called Grace ..., so Grace it is!!

Home 3 Months!!

Three months ago yesterday we arrived home with our daughter Alona.  That day was one filled with many emotions.   We were so thankful to finally be bringing her home after 16 months of waiting to adopt her and 6 weeks in Ukraine.  On the flip side, she had acted like a real toot on most of the 23 hours of travel and I was so  relieved to finally be on U.S. soil and have reinforcements!!

I can honestly say looking back that we have really made progress  in the areas of attitude, respect and bonding.  She has gone from telling me 10 plus times a day that she didn't like me to saying (or yelling) "mom" over and over again, wanting to hold my hand and sit by me constantly.  She still can be sassy and strong-willed but is recognizing her misbehavior and apologizing for it now.   The one thing we have realized is that a lot of her misbehavior is really rooted in fear from her past.  Mike and I went on our first real date Thursday night, the first since we have been home.  We went to dinner and a movie while my mom (her Omie) watched her.   When we got back to pick her up she was fussing that we were 17 minutes late (she takes things very literal).  When we got in the car she turned on the inside light and looked me straight in the eyes and asked "tell me the true, you smoking and drinking?"  Oh my gosh..., I don't smoke and probably have 2 margaritas a year (which I have not done since we have been home).  I asked her "do I smoke?" "have you seen me drinking?"  "do I look like I have been smoking and drinking?"  She started to laugh and said "I was just joking"; but I know she wasn't.  This was her reality, this is what she lived.  

So as we continue on this journey, we all continue to grow and learn.  We are blessed!!

Busy, busy days

I have been getting fussed at for not keeping up this blog so..., where to begin...,  We celebrated Alona's 12th birthday, she started 5th grade Sunday School, she started on a novice swim team and we are homeschooling.    

Alona should really be in the 6th grade Sunday School class, but at our church that is part of middle school and a rather large group.  Even though Alona is 12 years old her maturity level is much younger and so we think she fits better with the younger group.

Alona has also been taking swimming lessons for a while and the coach asked if we would like to put her on a novice swim team.   Since she wants to swim everyday anyway, we decided to do it.  She practices one hour a day three times a week.  This helps get rid of some of her excess energy, and also is helping her learn how to socially interact (correctly) with kids her age.  I think at her orphanage it was basically a dog eat dog world.   She is really liking the practices and has already made a couple friends. 

Pink swim cap and swimsuit...,happiness

Alona getting ready to practice her diving

Homeschooling..., it is not something I ever thought I would do; but we feel like this is what we need to do for Alona right now.  I am not a teacher and I had no idea where to begin.  With the help of a friend and a lot of prayer we are attempting it.  So far it actually has been better than I expected.  Alona has said numerous times that she is not smart.  When I ask her how she knows this she said because the director of her orphanage and the teacher told her.  Well she now is realizing that that was a lie.  Her eyes just light up when she finishes her math problems and gets them all right.  I do have a problem keeping her focused sometimes, so I tell her to go ride her bike and come back in 5 minutes and this actually has been working.   Our friend, Julia, who helped us with translation when we use to call Alona in Ukraine has come to my rescue again.  She is working with Alona one afternoon a week.  She is an awesome teacher and very creative (which I am not). 

Last but not least, we redid Alona's room.  We did not redecorate Alona's room before we went to Ukraine because I thought it would be more comforting for her to return to a familiar room.  She slept in that room both hosting trips and seemed to like it, but that changed when we brought her home.  Every night she was scared and would come in our room and sleep on floor without even a pillow.  The reasons for being scared seemed to change nightly.  Finally one day she said that she wouldn't be scared if she had a little bed like at the orphanage.  Of course she also slept with 11 other girls in one room.  But we decided it was worth a try to redo her room and let her help pick everything out.  So out went the big bed and in went a twin bed with a trundle.  She picked out a comforter that is turquoise, pink and white.  We repainted the room and let her help.   She wanted a bright pink, but we compromised with a color called blush that is still too pink for me (I am more of a brown & green girl), but she loves it.  She also has slept every night in her room!!

Ears pierced



While we were at the coast Alona got her ears pierced!!  Our really close friends, Lisa and Kenny, were at the coast the same time we were.  We had planned in advance to surprise Alona and let her get her ears pierced while we were there.  It was her "Happy 12th Birthday" gift from them. 

A little apprehensive...,

All over...,all smiles

As Alona would say..., very, very beautiful

The beach.., very, very beautiful

We took Alona to the beach for a few days and she loved it!!   She had never seen an ocean or even been to the Black Sea in Ukraine.  So even though I tried to explain what it would be like and showed her pictures on the computer, she was completely "WOWED" by the whole experience.  I can not even tell you how many times she said "it is very, very beautiful" and "it is very, very, big".   We spent several hours at the beach during the day and then Alona wanted to walk along the shore at night.  There was a full moon and yes it was "very, very beautiful".  The next morning when Alona walked out onto the balcony of our condo she got all excited.  "Mama, waves morning and night and next day?"  It was just another reminder of things I sometimes take for granted.  God's creation is "very, very beautiful" and yes it is incomprehensible to think of those waves never ending.  It also was a gentle reminder to remember the life that Alona has come from..., to never have seen an ocean or gone on a family vacation.  To remember that there are many, many more orphans all around the world just like her...,

Oh my goodness, are you okay?

I always have good intentions of writing a post about our day, but then by bedtime I always find myself saying tomorrow.  I know I will regret it in the future as I have found this blog is the best way to journal. 

Our days continue to be filled with alot of activity..., swimming, riding bikes, rollerblading, washing cars, and even mopping the garage.  We tried to talk her out mopping the garage which usually doesn't even get swept out, but there was no discouraging her.  We are still working on the concept of some things are "mom's" and some are "papa's" and some are "Alona's".  She is always exploring drawers, cabinets, closets and moving things around.  So we are always looking for things. 

Even though we have challenges at times with behavior, we also have a lot of laughter and love!!
Last Sunday, I needed to buy one of our dogs a new collar and I thought if I went to a pet shop instead of Walmart or Target it would save time and having to say "no" a million times.  Well Alona loved it and wanted to bring every animal home.  She made me laugh when she went up to a tank with turtles in it and said in a loud voice "Hello".  One turtle swam right up to the glass and Alona say "Look mom, he speaks English".   Her favorite animal in the shop was a Kinkajous which sort of looks like a monkey but it is in the racoon family.  The manager let her hold it and she fell in love.  She decided right then and there that is what she wanted for her birthday.  I told her no way were we having a monkey in our house.  Yesterday, I told her because she had been listening and obeying she could pick a treat and I gave her some choices.  She picked going back to the pet shop.  Well we didn't see the Kinkajous anywhere and so I asked a clerk if they had sold it.  She said no it was in a cage behind the counter but that it was asleep.  They are nocturnal animals and usually wake up at 6 or 7 p.m.  Alona asked how much it cost and the lady said thirty-five hundred dollars.  I explained to Alona that would be 35 one hundred dollar bills or 28,000. ghrivnas.  Alona looked at the lady and said "Oh my goodness, are you okay"?  We are working on not saying the first thing that pops into our head! 

Swimming Lessons

Mike took Alona to her first swimming lesson today.  Alona loves the water and would swim morning, noon and night if she could (and sometimes does).  She has a basic idea of how to get from point A to point B but with no technique.  We thought swimming lessons would teach her technique, make her a stronger swimmer, and also get some of her excess energy out of her.

When she came home you could tell she was really proud of everything she had learned and how well she did.  She said that the pool was really big and the teacher made her swim back and forth and back and forth.  She said that he would say "Keep going, keep going" and she said she would say "OK".  I asked her if she spoke any other English to him and she said "Mama!!", he said "Keep swimming, keep swimming' and "Alona say..., she just started acting out how she was gasping for air"!!  I asked her if she wanted to go back tomorrow and she said "Yes, Alona good". 

She also told me that tomorrow when I take her and see how big the pool is and how far she has to swim that I will say  "OH MY GOSH"!!!