Pretty in Pink...,Glasses

We picked up Alona's glasses this morning and she has not wanted to take them off.   I would have never picked pink, but if it helps with her wanting to wear them then I am all for the color!!   I do think she looks cute in them...., even if I am a little biased.

No More "Firsts" This Week.., Please

First yellow jacket stings, first bicycle accident and yesterday..., car accident.  I have not been involved in a car accident in close to 15 years, but less than a month after getting Alona home..., well another first for Alona.   Alona and I were running errands and actually were right in front of papa's office when a young man hit us from behind.  I was at a total stop with my blinker on, but he was "looking at his phone and didn't see us".  Those were his words to the police officer not mine.  He actually seemed like a very nice young man, but like many people he was trying to text or read a text at the same time as driving a car.  He hit us pretty hard and of course Alona started yelling "Mama, what are you doing!!!!!"  About the same time, I see a tire roll by my car and assumed it was from his car.  We pulled into my husband's parking lot and Alona ran to get papa.  The tire was actually from my car.  I guess when he hit us it broke the bracket that is underneath my car that holds the spare tire.  I haven't taken my car to a repair shop yet, but overall I had minimal damage compared to his car -- which was undrivable.  His front bumper, head lights and hood were all damaged; as well as, his battery, radiator and engine all being shoved back.  I am thankful no one was hurt and I have used this as a lesson to Alona on why we always buckle our seat belts and don't text while driving...,not that she has a phone or drives:)

The good news is yesterday Alona went to the dentist and she had no cavities.  When we hosted her 2 years ago we took her to the dentist.  She had to have 3 teeth pulled that were abscessed (baby teeth), 2 fillings (permanent teeth),  and 3 caps (baby teeth).   She now has lost all her baby teeth and the permanent teeth are looking good!!  The orphanage she came from did not provide toothbrushes or toothpaste, so Alona was always asking us to send her some when we called.  It probably was her number one request.

Today, we went and had her eyes checked.  We had taken her to the eye doctor on her second hosting trip to us and she needed glasses.  We bought her some, but they were stolen almost immediately upon her return to Ukraine.  So today we ordered a new pair (light pink) and she thinks they are very, very beautiful. 

I will end this post by saying that mom will be very, very happy if we have no more "firsts" this week; but I think Alona has enjoyed being able to tell everyone about all the "firsts" in her life.

Another first..., Accident on her bike

Friday Alona was stung by yellow jackets and today she had her first bicycle accident.  Two summers ago, when we hosted Alona we bought her a little PINK bike and she loved it.  She rides very well (usually) and we live in the perfect place to ride bikes.  Our subdivision is gated, with a small number of homes and almost no traffic. 

When we arrived home 3 weeks ago she could not wait to hop on her bike.   Unfortunately, the little pink bike is too small for her now and so she has been riding one of our son's old bikes which is black and has a rip in the seat.  She has been wanting to ride his newer (silver) bike but it is a little bigger than the black one.  Well this morning she took off on the silver bike and hit a bump on our street and crashed.  She actually fared better than the bike..., just a skinned knee and elbow and a couple more small scratches.  She cried quite a bit at first for a combination of reasons with the sight of her own blood only being one of them.  She kept saying "Sorry for bike" and "please no take me to hospital".  I assured her that I could handle the injuries without taking her to the hospital and that an accident is just an accident. 

Two hours later she was out riding again but this time on the black bike and going a little slower. 

A few tears

We have been home 3 weeks now and our son has been able to be here the entire time.   We are so thankful that we had this time together as a family, but knew it would be hard to say good-bye.   We had been preparing Alona by counting down the days and showing her on the map where he lives now.   She has been playing the tough girl saying "I no miss Colby", "Mama, papa miss Colby.  Alona no miss Colby".  She has been asking "Mama cry when Colby go?"...., probably!!  "Papa cry when Colby go?"..., maybe!  We have also been trying to explain to her that it is okay to cry sometimes.  She has told us repeatly that she was told "It was not good to cry".  This morning on the way to the airport she kept up the tough girl routine, but as soon as Colby stepped out of the car who jumped out and started crying.., Alona.  She started saying "Please no go and please come back Christmas".   We reassured her that he would come home again and reminded her that we could also go on an airplane and visit him.  This helped a lot and so there were just a few tears!!

Stung by Yellow jackets

Last night we went out to eat with family members and then over to my brother's home.  Alona went outside right at dark with my sister-in-law, Stacy, to swing on a porch swing.  Within minutes she came running in the house yelling at the top of her lungs and holding her leg.  Alona is very loud anyway and  also a bit of a drama queen, so I thought she had just scraped her leg on the swing.  We soon figured out she had been stung by something on the back of her leg and also on the top of one of her hands.  We thought maybe it was fire ants, but underneath the swing was a nest of yellow jackets.   Alona calmed down some when we told her that Stacy is a nurse (the truth) and that she knew exactly what to do.  Within 20 minutes you would have never known Alona had been stung.  She was up running around, playing and acting silly.  There was a second during the middle of the drama that I had the quick thought of  "Oh no, I wonder if she is allergic to them?"  That is a weird feeling to remember once again that your daughter almost 12 years old and you know very little of her medical history.

Listen to Mama!!

I am almost afraid to utter these words..., but we have had 4 really good days behavioral wise!!  Alona has really amazed us with how quickly she is picking up English.   She makes us laugh everyday with something she says.  Yesterday we were driving in the car and Mike was singing and she said very seriously "Papa you okay?".

Today, I left Alona with my mom while I went shopping with our son.  He is leaving early Sunday morning for Washington, D.C. (work) and I don't know when we will get to see him again.   It was nice to spend some one on one time with him which I have not been able to do since I came back from Ukraine.   I had told Alona last night where she was going, for about how long, and of course how she was to behave while at her Omie's house.  When we dropped her off this morning, she hugged and kissed us both goodbye.  As we where getting in the car, she came running back out of the house and told her brother (our grown son)  "Remember, listen to Mama".

Communication Glitch

Usually communication is not a problem, we have learned to use a combination of words and charades to understand one another.  However, last week one day we did hit a minor snag.  I was busy cleaning out a closet and Alona came in the room holding up some of her hair on the top of her head and said "Maadison, please".  Since my niece, Maddison, had been over a few days prior and Alona had braided her hair; I discerned this to mean she wanted me to braid her hair.  I told her "one hodihna" "one hour" and then I will do it.  She turned around, sighed and walked out of the room.  About 20 minutes later she was back holding up her hair and saying "Maaadison, please".   I was just about done with the closet and told her 5 more minutes.  I finished up and then decided to look on the computer for instructions on how to braid her hair the way I thought she would want it.  I went and got the brush and comb and walked into her room.  She took one look at me and said "Whaaatcha doing?".  I told her I was ready to braid her hair and she said "Noooo Maaadison".  She took me by the hand and led me to where I keep the Tylenol and other medicines.  I asked "does your head hurt" and she said "YES, Maaadison, please".  Oh NO, communication breakdown!!   I apologized for the misunderstanding and even showed her the pictures and instructions on braiding that I had just looked up on the computer.  We both ended up laughing and she has enjoyed telling others how her mom responded to "Maaadison, please".

Alona and Maddison at the airport

It is harder than I thought.., at times

I will preface this post by saying that I know every adoption, child, orphanage, director, etc., are different.  Alona had been in a pretty good orphanage but was transferred 15 months prior to our adoption.  The orphanage Alona was transferred to was horrible, as was the director.  Our adoption was different than most in that we had Alona pretty much 24/7 from the first day we went to the orphange.  This sounds like it would be a positive but those 5 weeks were very, very difficult; especially the last 3 when it was just Alona and I.  We have been home 2 weeks now and it seems as if everyday she shares a little more about her life -- especially about the orphanage.   She has shared how all she had to do there was make her bed and they did not care how she made it.  They didn't care if the children left the grounds, went to school, etc.,   On the other hand, she has told us of children being hit by the caregivers for other misbehavior.  So on top of her family history these last 15 months have really caused her to try and figure out how to survive, how to try and control her circumstances.

I say all of that because the one behavioral issue Mike and I have been dealing with is her rejection/anger at me.  When rules or correction is given by either Mike or I, she gets angry at me.  We can be having a really good day and then something will upset her and of course her anger is directed at me.  We understand where this emotion is coming from but it doesn't make it any easier.  Fortunately, since we have come home this behavior is not happening on a daily basis anymore.  I have been trying to put this all in words to explain it to family and friends. This week one of the blogs I read did it for me. This post really spoke to my heart morelovetogive.com (July 13-Adoption the Hard Part 7, Rejection/Anger.  I think I have gone back and reread it 4 times.  I am so thankful for other families that are willing to be honest and transparent about their adoption experiences.  I have learned from them and it is encouranging to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.



I am happy to say that most days

Home 10 days

Time really flys once you get home.  I always said I would not quit writing about our adoption journey when we got home because that is not where the journey ends.  Now I find myself just like many others, too busy to write or not knowing what to write.  In ways it seems as if Alona has always been a part of our family and our life.  In other ways, it seems like we have just given birth to a new baby and are trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.  Some of the things we have found that have worked is keeping life pretty simple.  We haven't gone a lot of places or had a ton of people around.  We also realize that Alona does better when we give her time frames like "in one hour we have to leave to do  this" or we will go swimming at this time today and for this length of time".  Last Sunday she had a total meltdown when getting ready for church, this dress was too little, that dress was too big, the other dress was too itchy.., you get the picture.  Yesterday, we told her to go pick out what she was going to wear to church and explained what time we would wake up and when we would leave, etc.  She did really well considering she had to sit still for 1 1/2 hours and doesn't understand that much English.  She did follow along in her parallel English/Russian Bible and I think that helped.

She is trying very hard on learning English and is repeating everything she hears.  She does make us laugh though because she gets stuck on certain words/phrases and repeats them over and over.  For a few days it was "What are you doing", then it was "this is it" and now it is "very beautiful".  Everything is "very beautiful" from a book, to the food for supper, to a song on the radio, to a lizard outside, and the list goes on.  We just got Rosetta Stone for English loaded on our computer tonight, so we will try that tomorrow.

Days 1 & 2 Home

The first and second days home have been good.  It is like a dream come true..., at home, in my own comfy bed, air-conditioning, ceiling fans, and my washer & dryer!!  A bigger blessing is having my family all asleep under one roof.  I am very tired but know that it just takes time to adjust to the 8 hour time change and lack of sleep while I was away.  Alona on the other hand is up very early and has been going full speed.  I think part of her is afraid that if she doesn't do right now she might not get to.  She has been swimming, bike riding, rollerblading, rearranging her closet, and washing her hair several times.  We did go shopping also for some shoes for church and p.j.s and had no major meltdowns.   Yea!!